Conquering Back-to-School Fears

It’s September, which means only one thing: it’s back-to-school time. We all know the stereotypical reactions that are expected of parents and kids when back-to-school season starts; parents are supposed to literally jump with joy and glide down the aisles of Staples Business Depot, flinging school supplies into a shopping cart with ill-concealed glee. Kids are supposed to sigh and look depressed, while passively accepting their fate. But is this really how it is for parents and students everywhere? Some psychologists say that children can actually fear going back to the classroom, instead of just feeling disdain for learning and regimented schedules. Young children entering elementary school (or any new school, really) are encouraged to prepare themselves for school before September in order to feel more confident about going back to school.

But what about new university students, or “grown-up children,” if you will? How shall the hoards of anxious teens heading to university or college for the first time settle anxiety about going to a new school? This often-overlooked group of school attendees might face fears ranging from mild (will I like my roommate?) to hysterical (where the hell is my room?!) about entering a school system that is completely different from what they are used to. They have no clue what they are in for. Poor bastards.

Here are some of my infinite pearls of wisdom for the university-bound.

The Pre-University lesson: Go to the doctor and get the flu vaccine. Then stock up on Cold FX, Nyquil, Dayquil or your preferred cold/flu drug of choice. University is a breeding ground for germs. Dorms are the hub of all this germy activity. Dorms are full of sleep-deprived, stressed-out students who drink, eat junk and are used to their mammas taking care of them. All of these things equal snot and sore throats if you’re lucky, meningitis if you’re not. So get lots of sleep, drink plenty of (non-alcoholic) fluids and don’t swap germs with random strangers unless you truly believe they are worth getting sick for.

The Once You Arrive Lesson: If you arrive at your dorm before your roommate, claim the bed by the window. If a psycho breaks into your room (through the door), they are more likely to kill the first person they see. Good luck to you if they break through the window. That brings me to another lesson: always lock your door(s) and window(s). It sounds like common sense but many people don’t lock their dorm doors even when they are sleeping.

The Don’t Get Kicked Out Lesson: Balancing partying with studying is a delicate line to toe but it is a balance that must be learned if you want to be social without flunking out of school. Get your school work out of the way and then party. Try not to do this in the reverse order too many times. The more you procrastinate, the less time you have for socializing. The better you are at time-management, the more fun you will have. Simple as that. If you suck at studying or time management, go see someone at the student services office for help. Most universities offer seminars on learning proper study skills, how to write a better paper and learning to deal with stress. These services are free and should be utilized by everyone, no matter how lame you might feel. You know what else is lame? Failing every university paper you hand in your first semester because you were too proud to go to student services for a free writing seminar.

The It Will Get Better Lesson: Unless you are some kind of genius (and probably even if you are) your grades during your first semester will not be as good as you are used to. University is harder than high school. It takes time to learn how to properly write papers, take good notes in class and study effectively. It might take a few semesters but if you put in consistent effort, your grades will go up. If they don’t, talk to some of your professors to figure out what you can improve on.

The Most Important Lesson: University is fun. Like, crazy amounts of fun. So enjoy the good times; they help carry you through the bad times when you just want to throw your laptop out the window. University will be hard and there will be times (maybe even many times) when you want to quit. But please don’t. The job market is congested enough as is.